love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
