There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
