How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
