Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my sisters under your porch take her home
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
