that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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