walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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