I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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