two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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