So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
