the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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