i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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