Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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