We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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