8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think your dad took our porno
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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