Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize