you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
