i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
