I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
