I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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