I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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