so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
