He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
