If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
