This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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