just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize