mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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