Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
