Your dad touched me again.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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