Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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