So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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