If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
