I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
