Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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