Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
