I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
