It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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