i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
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Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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