It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry