Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.