this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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