how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
