So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
