i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
