I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize