you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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