my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
