Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
