i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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