I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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