Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
