I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
