i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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