Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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