we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
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Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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