I can text with my tongue
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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