You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
