A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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