Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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