so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
