somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
