Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives

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(740): View more from Ohio

They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar

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(540): View more from Virginia

For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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(971): View more from Oregon

No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,

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(503): View more from Oregon

#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

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(303): View more from Colorado

Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.

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(708): View more from Illinois

These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.

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(614): View more from Ohio

first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out

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