maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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