I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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