It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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